THE BRANTASTIC LIFE IS BACK!
Back in November I decided it was time for an overhaul! I've become so lazy with the blog and I think a fresh look will really help me back in to a rhythm! I'm really excited and I hope you all like the new look! This isn't it forever, I need to make a new logo and some touch ups to improve how you can all follow me and get more involved via social media. I have basically talked about updating the blog for months but then crammed it all in to two days and now I'm pulling my hair out over HTML ... somethings never change eh?
I have decided to finish the year with all my 2015 outfits and a New Years Post, which I do every year and to be honest its probably one of my favorite types of posts. I love to look back and reflect, I think it helps to remind you of good times.
My last 6 months always seem to go down hill, which sucks, maybe December is just my bad luck month! All in all I feel 2015 was a good year, I'm going in to 2016 feeling very positive and ending 2015 on a good note, my family and friends are all healthy and safe, that is the thing I am always grateful for. I can't ask for much more than that.
This is really hard for me to write about. Last year I made a vow that I wouldn't be a sales assistant this Christmas. 8 weeks later I FINALLY got my dream job and became a Personal Shopper. I couldn't believe it and I was ready to hit the ground running. That was the plan at least. Its a really hard job, its all sales targets, for me that is just not the reason I wanted to do it. Since I was kid I wanted to be like Gok Wan and make these women happy, turn them from having no confidence to making them feel amazing about them selves! That is my motivation to do it, and don't get me wrong I did get that opportunity loads! I met some lovely clients and when I had good days I was on cloud 9. But In retail there is always something around the corner to kick you in the tits and bring you back to earth with a bang, and in the end I was tired of trying and getting nothing but shit in return, With a very heavy heart I gave up my job. It absolutely broke my heart. I miss it so much already, but I was making myself ill worrying about sales targets and I was just losing more confidence every day, I can't go back to a place where I hate myself, nothing is worth losing my happiness for, I've fought too hard for it.
I've just started a new job that I am really enjoying! Its not what I want to do with my life but for now I am thoroughly enjoying it and there are lots of opportunities with the company, so you never know do you!
I have stayed completely single this year. Like, nothing. I have not Kissed a boy, been on a date, I haven't even liked a boy this year. Its been wonderful! I always joke about never meeting anyone and ending up alone, and of course I do worry about that deep down. Both my best friends have gotten engaged this year, and I not going to lie, that made me panic. Here are my two best friends settled and happy with their Hubbys To Be, in houses and planing families. Then you have me, 25, single, living at home and I'm still not where I want to be job wise, or in life really. On one hand I do worry that I haven't met him yet, I worry I'm never going to meet him. Then on the other hand I go out with the girls get so smashed and have so much fun and If a boy was to speak to me I'm like “Fuck off I'm with my pals”.
What are you doing Bran?!
Truth is … I am actually happy being alone. I feel so content, I love my own company, I love being free not having to deal with someone elses shit. I've also become super cynical, every boy I have ever been with has eventually been a cunt, a waste of time, why would I chose to waste my time on losers. But despite feeling like that my biggest fear is that I end up alone … That really scares me, and that is really hard to admit. I feel like its ok to be like that when your 18, but I feel pressured at 25 that I should be putting myself out there before its too late. I'm sure there are girls out there like “THIS IS MY LIFE” Why are we allowing ourselves to feel pressured? I blame Instagram, everything is Instagram's fault.
So Love in 2016? ... who the fuck cares, we'll see what happens. But if he is out there, he can come find me, I'm not out looking.
This year I visited Barcelona in the summer. I went to Benicassim for the week and it was one of the best weeks of my life, essentially ruining every British festival for me. I will never go to a UK one ever again, its all about the sunshine! I was hoping to go back to Beni this summer, but this years line up gash. Last years Rock Werchter line up was INSANE so I'm keeping an eye on that for this year!
So for the past year I have been saving, and the idea is to jump on a plane to Thailand as soon as my best friends wedding is over in August. I've been inspired by 2 of my friends who earlier in the year drove off to Europe. They are currently in Thailand after seeing Europe, and their attitude is basically “we'll be back when we've seen the world”. For years I've wanted to go and I've always thought “you can go when you meet someone”, then seeing my friends go with such an exciting attitude I just thought “What the fuck are you waiting for?” So here we are 2.5 grand still to save and I'm off to see the world! I can't wait and Its honestly all I talk about. If anyone has any advice please feel free to get in touch! I need all the help, advice and inspiration I can get!!
Hopes for 2016
In the end, I think 2015 has ended pretty shitly (New Word) but I actually feel very positive about it, like 2016 can only go up, and I'm not letting the bad stuff take over, I dunno … I just have a really good feeling about 2016.